In Perfectly Adequate, true to the sensation that Jewel E. Ann is as an author, has crafted a novel that is as unconventional as it is heartwarming. The story delves into the complexities surrounding a female protagonist who is neurodivergent and the flood of emotions that only an author like Ms. Ann can subject her readers to.

Elijah Alexander Hawkins (Eli), a 38-year-old pediatric oncologist, finds his life upended with the sudden departure of his high school sweetheart, wife, and mother to his son. Eli’s unresolved feelings towards Julie even months after their divorce continues to haunt him. It does not help being witness to Julie’s drastic transformation and constantly being subjected to her presence as they both work at the same hospital.

30 year old nursing student, Dorothy Mayhem would be the most unlikely of prospects when it comes to catching the attention of someone like Dr. Eli, a legend who is well respected amongst his peers. Dorothy knows that she is different from the rest, though she tries hard to be “normal”, as much as it takes a toll on her. Her sense of curiosity, her unique perspective on matters, and straightforward nature brings Eli out of the funk he has been riding since the divorce.

It is Dorothy’s life that is the most fascinating aspect of the novel, and writing this must have been as challenging as it was reading this novel in my opinion. For Dorothy, the way her mind works is what is normal for her. Organized and passionate about her work, with aspirations to join the plastics field, her admiration for Dr. Julie adds an intriguing layer to the story as she navigates her newfound relationship with Eli. Her methodical approach to life and using journals to manage her emotions and daily challenges speak volumes.

The relationship that buds to life between Eli and Dorothy is at times awkward, humorous, and passionate. While Dorothy knows not to be cautious and reserved as is Eli, her forthrightness and unfiltered honesty continues to astound and rouse Eli from the stupor he was in until Dorothy filled his life with much needed color. Their bond as it deepens, is difficult to discern from Dorothy’s perspective, even though the story is told from dual points of view in first person.

When ultimately push comes to shove and Eli is forced to choose between his ex-wife whose departure from his life had nearly destroyed him, and Dorothy, the woman who confuses, exasperates, and makes him want in a way that is foreign to him, it is perhaps the most difficult call in his life that he has to make, adding the angst factor to this story.

There is much to reflect upon when it comes to this novel. Most of Ms. Ann’s novels that I have read to-date have a way of forcing me to think and go to places where I might not even have thought of going. While I myself is familiar with depression and its impact on one’s life, Ms. Ann explores what it is like to lose own self in this destructive spiral, giving voice to millions who battle through this condition. While some fight to claw their way back out of it just to feel human, rest tend to give in. Mark my words, none of the two paths is easy by any means – humans were not created for isolation, nor were we created to get lost in the labyrinth of our minds, but that is often what depression feels like, and the more chronic the condition, the harder it becomes to feel a sense of normalcy and emotions on the spectrum that most of us take for granted.

When Eli finds out the reality behind Julie’s departure and how she struggled to find her own self-worth in this destructive cycle, it all made sense. Post-partum depression is something that the world is coming to increasingly come to accept, but it is still an excruciating journey for the person who suffers through it, and perhaps that is Julie’s story as well.

While Julie and Eli’s history goes way back, from being high school sweethearts to marriage and parents to an adorable son, does not mean that they are set for life. Marriage is a relationship that continually evolves and shifts as we navigate through life, growing both individually and together. It is our ability to adapt to those changes and grow together that often is the key to a long-lived marriage, and ofttimes that may not mean that two people are happy together.

Julie’s departure from Eli’s life perhaps was a signal to that effect; while her depression had to do with a lot more, perhaps it was the jolt that was needed to shake things up, to show to both of them that while their past would remain a significant part of who they are, that there was no going back. Or perhaps, it is also indicative of how in the throes of depression, we tend to draw in on ourselves and lose sight of those who hold us most dear, who can actually help us pull through – which perhaps is the most destructive effect of the disease because when you finally come out of the haze, you realize that you have effectively destroyed life as you knew it, and that there is no going back.

It was also quite something to see things from Dorothy’s perspective. To see her take on the role of being Eli’s lover while neither of them are able to give voice to the ties that were deepening between them, to Dorothy’s sensory experiences and sexual assertiveness, the narrative set forth does show to readers the continued struggles that someone like Dorothy undergoes in navigating what we call life. It is perhaps only someone like Eli who has a heart that can take more than most, empathetic, and has the ability love without reservations that can accept all that is Dorothy – maddening, fierce, independent, and fully his in every sense, minus the lines of grey that made Eli question his own self worth when it came to Julie.

Recommended for those who appreciate a story that challenges conventional romance tropes and dives deep into the complexities of human connections; Perfectly Adequate is THE novel that you need to read.

Final Verdict: Perfectly Adequate is a rollercoaster of emotions from start to finish, throwing readers into frustration & heartwarming moments, ultimately leaving us with a sense of acceptance and hope that is unwavering.

Favorite Quotes

“Is that code for I’m talking too much?” He chuckles.
“No. It’s not code for anything. Talk all you want, just don’t tell me everything I was going to ask you before I get a chance to ask it.”
“Dorothy …” He scratches his chin. “You are … unexpected. Like balloons, flowers, and winning lottery tickets.”

Dr. Hawkins presses his hand to my neck and slides it up to cup my jaw, taking the kiss to the next level with a little tongue. French kissing isn’t usually my thing. Too much saliva. But he’s not salivating like a dog, or suffering from a painful case of dry mouth, so the kiss is acceptable. Such a Goldilocks moment. Dr. Elijah Hawkins is my just right.

“Eventually,” she whispers, brushing the pad of her thumb along my eyebrow.
I squint.
Her lips form a faint smile. “Eventually I’ll be okay. And so will you.”
A goodbye.
This is goodbye. A redo because the one in my office was horrible. But nonetheless, it’s goodbye. I don’t know if saying goodbye to Dorothy Mayhem can ever be anything but horrible.
I nod because all words remain congested in my throat.

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